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Mom and dad have been in the process of building a new house about 45 mins to an hour north of where they currently live in PA. Dad told me last night that it will finally be ready to move into in March or April. And I am upset about this. A LOT more than I should be. Logically, I don't live at home anymore. I'm in school in Tennessee right now, and even over summer break I'm only going home for a visit for a couple weeks. However when dad told me about the move, my response was, "Oh," and I couldn't keep the sadness out of my voice. Dad likes the new place, and loves the area which is, quite literally, in the middle of no where. (The closest supermarket is about 30 minutes away, nevermind the closest mall of movie theater!) I know he deserves to be someplace he's happy, but all I can think about is that when I go home I'll be far away from all of my friends in PA. I won't be out of reach, but it'll be a ways away... Dad tried to make me feel better by telling me that we aren't really "moving all that far". I pointed out that I wasn't worried about moving away from Etters, but how far would York and Red Lion be? Dad's response was, "Well..." He then proceeded to tell me it wouldn't be bad. I could stay overnight at friends' houses, or they could come to our house and stay over. "We'll have plenty of room," he said. He even told me if I wanted to I could stay in a hotel in York for a few nights and he'd pay for it. Consequently I feel horribly guilty about being upset over the move.
Also my mind can't seem to grasp the concept that I don't live at home anymore. I think there are several reasons for this. One, mom and dad still act like I do. They'll ask if I'm coming "home" for Spring Break. Then there was mom's talk over Christmas about me going "back to school", not "home" when I mentioned coming back to TN. Two, some of my stuff is still in PA in mom and dad's house. I didn't pack up everything I own and bring it with me, so I still think of things in terms of "my room". And it's not like mom and dad would object to me bringing my things down here, but it makes more sense to keep things there if they're willing to keep it for me. Three, aside from a university apartment here, it *is* my home. However much time I spend in TN, PA will always (at least partiallly) be my home.
One other slight worry I have is that I don't even know where this place is! We used to have a little cabin there, and I've been there several times, but not in over a year, and mom or dad always drove. When they started making plans to build a house I mostly kept out of it. I wasn't interested in being part of something that I felt was pulling me away from friends. Dad tried to explain it last night.
Dad: "It's not far from Halifax-"
Me: "Dad, I don't know how to get to Halifax."
Dad: "Well get on 321-"
Me: "Dad, I don't know how to get on 321."
Sigh. I ended up saying, "I can see it now. I'll drive back for a visit and not know how to get there!" Dad of course insisted they were not going to let me get lost; they'd give me directions, and meet me somewhere along the way if necessary.
And in the end, despite me being sad about it, despite everything, dad's going to move. There's nothing I can do about, and I've been trying to resign myself to that fact for close to a year now. Things will probably work out; they have a way of doing that. I'm sure it won't be as bad as I think it is. I just need to get myself ot believe that. And it would help if I could also start believing I don't live at home anymore.
Also my mind can't seem to grasp the concept that I don't live at home anymore. I think there are several reasons for this. One, mom and dad still act like I do. They'll ask if I'm coming "home" for Spring Break. Then there was mom's talk over Christmas about me going "back to school", not "home" when I mentioned coming back to TN. Two, some of my stuff is still in PA in mom and dad's house. I didn't pack up everything I own and bring it with me, so I still think of things in terms of "my room". And it's not like mom and dad would object to me bringing my things down here, but it makes more sense to keep things there if they're willing to keep it for me. Three, aside from a university apartment here, it *is* my home. However much time I spend in TN, PA will always (at least partiallly) be my home.
One other slight worry I have is that I don't even know where this place is! We used to have a little cabin there, and I've been there several times, but not in over a year, and mom or dad always drove. When they started making plans to build a house I mostly kept out of it. I wasn't interested in being part of something that I felt was pulling me away from friends. Dad tried to explain it last night.
Dad: "It's not far from Halifax-"
Me: "Dad, I don't know how to get to Halifax."
Dad: "Well get on 321-"
Me: "Dad, I don't know how to get on 321."
Sigh. I ended up saying, "I can see it now. I'll drive back for a visit and not know how to get there!" Dad of course insisted they were not going to let me get lost; they'd give me directions, and meet me somewhere along the way if necessary.
And in the end, despite me being sad about it, despite everything, dad's going to move. There's nothing I can do about, and I've been trying to resign myself to that fact for close to a year now. Things will probably work out; they have a way of doing that. I'm sure it won't be as bad as I think it is. I just need to get myself ot believe that. And it would help if I could also start believing I don't live at home anymore.
